Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
