She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
