Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
