This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
