I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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