The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
