No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
