Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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