If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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