I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
