Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
