yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
