rhymes with "ouble enetration"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize