Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
