clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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