2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
