The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
soo... how was my night?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
