Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
