I need to stop coming to work sober
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
