The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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