My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish my penis had an off switch
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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