Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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