So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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