after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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