just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
