True but thats because hes a fetus.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I party with great urgency now.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
