remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
