I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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