He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
