but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
