We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
