Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's shark week go big or go home
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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