so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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