Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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