I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
