Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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