The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
