Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
