I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
