i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
