it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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