mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
where am i from again
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We need to get me chipped asap
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
