at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
