he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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