i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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