Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
