ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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