found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
