is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
