I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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