Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it's great music for shaving your balls
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
