he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
