sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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